Heeelllloooo…I’m a caaaaarrrr…GASOLINE MAKES ME RUN…Back seat…Trunk space…Heeelllloooo…Let’s go for a riiiide…OIL IS MY BLOOD…Seat belt…Radio knob…
There are probably very few people who will read this and actually know what I was referring to just then. If you do, we’re probably friends. If not, we should be.
There are some sounds that as soon as you hear them, take you back to other times and places. Other sounds lull you into a state of peace and make you instantly happy like the sound of a small child giggling. Still, others make you want to run away from the scene screaming. For me, there is one sound that fits all of these categories: the car alarm.
In order to fully understand my special connection with car alarms, you have to know a little bit about my car, Sally. Though she’s a great car, Sally can be a bit territorial at times. She doesn’t mean anything by it. She just doesn’t like to be messed with by anyone who isn’t me and likes to make people aware of that. I had only gotten small tastes of her temperamental demeanor until one day when Sally decided to show me she meant business.
It all started when my roommate Leana and I went to the mall one afternoon to do some shopping. I got out of the car and pushed the clicker to lock Sally just as I always do. Leana also locked the door from the inside of the car. We found out later that the double locking action activates the car alarm. Ordinarily, this would not have been a problem, however while we were inside the mall, my clicker decided to disappear and was not coming back anytime soon. After a mild freak out, I went to manually unlock the car door. Big mistake. Sally went completely berserk for about a minute and then the alarm stopped. I quickly put the key into the ignition and started her up. No problem. Leana and I breathed a sigh of relief and went on our merry way. This happened a few more times, and while it was a little embarrassing, I learned to deal with it. I just let Sally throw her temper tantrum for a bit, and then when she calmed down, I would fire up the engine.
The following weekend, I traveled with a group of friends to my friend’s house in Burleson for her parent’s vow renewal ceremony. It was about 11:30 pm on the night we had arrived and my friend realized that she needed to get something out of my car. Remembering Sally’s attitude problem, I warned her that the alarm would go off but it would stop in a few moments. Just as I expected, as soon as I turned the key, Sally started ranting and raving. Then, just as before, she stopped and I quickly put the key in the ignition…but Sally started on round two.
Now, I forgot to mention that my car alarm makes the loudest and most annoying sound on the planet. If anybody cares to contest this, they can see me in the parking lot…seriously. If I were to describe it, I would say it sounds like a mix between a gang of alley cats fighting over the last scrap of garbage and the honks from a flock of tone deaf geese.
Please keep in mind that it is 11:30 pm and I am in a formerly quiet residential area. Round two is longer and more annoying as Sally has decided to experiment by using new and different sounds. When round two ends, I try the key. It won’t budge and Sally starts again.
At this time, my friend’s dad comes running out of the house with his wife and all of my friends following closely behind him. We are standing in the middle of the street yelling at each other, just so we can be heard over Sally’s wailing. My friend’s dad has his head underneath the hood of my car the night before his vow renewal ceremony. Neighbors start pouring out of their houses yelling at me. One woman even came over and told me I had to turn it off because her mother had cancer and was trying to sleep. I am just sitting helplessly in my car.
At this point, I am on the verge of tears, but my friends are finding all of this hilarious of course…because they’re only innocent bystanders. Finally, at about midnight, my friend’s dad decides that the only way to stop the alarm is to disconnect the battery, which he does and Sally and the rest of go to sleep. I went home the very next day and got the spare clicker, and all was good and happy again. I found the original clicker in the floorboard of my car the next week.
Now, any time I hear a car alarm going off in the parking lot, I am reminded of that fun-filled night and have to laugh at my own misfortune. As those around me are gritting their teeth or rolling their eyes, I am saying a little prayer for the owner of that feisty vehicle.
